2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she peed on how many people?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
