I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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