Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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