Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
