That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
