I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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