you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
