The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
