what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
