Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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