Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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