he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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