Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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