How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
