Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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