I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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