alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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