he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
