when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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