what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
