Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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(604): View more from British Columbia

mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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(727): View more from Florida

We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.

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(302): View more from Delaware

You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.

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