You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
