eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize