I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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