What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
