If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
