can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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