this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
