Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
