Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
