what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
