Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...