You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
