I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me