Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
BRING THE BAGELS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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