At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sext me about skeletons
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.