I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
