After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate