I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
