I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh god the rape fog is back!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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