awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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