dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
