xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
is that a dick in a sweater?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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