I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize