how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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