P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good