ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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