Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
