I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
