Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
