I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
