it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
