i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
