But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i now understand why vodka
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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