Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
