I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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