So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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