I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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