He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
