sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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