ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
