So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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