Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize