We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
