i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
