Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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